Now, because Hollywood week is still in the process, I can’t say much more except I am very excited to see where God takes me! No matter what happens I know that it’s all in the master plan, so I’m not too worried. Keep watching!

It was three o’clock in the morning. My head ticked and toked like it was about to explode. I sat up quietly, in fear of waking my friends, and went to the bathroom to find something to make me feel better. I found some NyQuil and was extremely tempted to down the whole bottle, but remembering that I had practice in a few hours quickly changed my mind.

For a minute I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I imagined myself in front of thousands of screaming fans on a brightly lit stage. Ten back up dancers surrounded me as I began to sing. Fireworks exploded above me as I hit the climax of the song. The crowd moved like the waves of the ocean as they screamed for more. And they got exactly what they asked for. After one more song, I pretended to bow for my made up audience and quietly thanked them as I exited the stage.

After returning from the bathroom, I tip toed back into Aubrey’s media room where the gang was peacefully sleeping. I was jealous at the fact that I was the only one who got sick after staying up for practically four days straight. Don’t get me wrong, I had the time of my life, but having to be the only one to receive the consequences was quite annoying. Once I had gotten back in my spot, I closed my eyes for what seemed to only be a second.

Suddenly I heard Aubrey’s mother yelling for us to wake up. Daylight invaded the media room as she opened the door, and her happy voice echoed throughout the walls. “Girls wake up already! It’s almost eleven o’clock and it is a bea-utiful day!” she squealed. I panicked as I realize I was going to be late for practice. Without thinking I quickly grabbed my keys and headed out the door as I thanked Aubrey’s mom for letting me stay over.

Aubrey lived about ten minutes out of town. Driving from her house always gave me time to think, and as a drove to practice that morning, thoughts were tearing up my mind. I was still uncertain about attending USF, but instead of figuring out what to do about it, I had decided that I needed to have a fun summer. Having the time of my life with friends and practicing for A.I. was my main focus for now, because I realized I still had time to decide what to do with my life later. But I was worried Pastor Tanya would be mad that I was running late for my first real practice. Also, I was worried that this sickness would ruin my chance to audition.

I had only two weeks until my first audition in Dallas, and I was so sick I could barely talk. Pastor Tanya prayed for me before we began practice, but I was still worried I wouldn’t improve . She made me sing even though I sounded horrible. For days I felt like I was going to die, but I pushed through regardless. After the first week I was feeling better, but I knew I didn’t sound better. I finally decided I needed a break from life. I took a full day to sleep, which later I realized was the best decision I had made all summer.

After giving my body a day to rest, my voice improved, and I was no longer sick. There was only six days until my audition, and I worked my butt off with Pastor Tanya. She worked with me everyday, and always encouraged me when I was feeling insecure about my voice. I don’t think I would have been as ready as I was without her.  She did so much for me that week, I had no idea how I was going to thank her, and to this day I still don’t think I’ve thanked her enough.

All of the work we had done together was about to be critiqued. Only two days remained until my audition, and I hoped I had done enough to prepare. Pastor Tanya had invited some of the church leaders to come and critique my improvements. I was unaware of what to expect as they sat down and prepared to judge my every move. My nerves were going ballistic, for I realized this was where I was about to discover if all of my work had paid off, or if my time with friends had distracted me too much.

My first step was calling my sister in Dallas. I knew she wouldn’t be hard to convince, and it turns out I was right. After the phone rang a few times, she answered and I screamed, “Guess what, guess what!! American Idol auditions are going to be in Dallas this year!” She squealed with excitement for about ten minutes, and once she had calmed down we started discussing arrangements.

My next step was calling my pastors. I remembered we used to joke about auditioning when I was still in high school, and they always said I would know when the time was right. Honestly I never once thought auditioning was part of the plan back then, but now I see that God always works in ways you’d never expect. On the phone, Pastor Tanya said she was excited for me and would help and support my decision. She also told me we should meet with her husband, Pastor Alex, and discuss how to prepare for this adventure. I was more than willing to meet with them, and little did I know of how much I would be seeing them in the future.

It was three in the afternoon and I had just eaten lunch with my mother. We sat and talked about how much fun my graduation party was, then started discussing my future at USF. She sincerely told me how proud and excited she was to see me off to college. I, although very thankful for all she had done for me, was still uncertain of my decision to attend classes in the fall. But I kept quiet of that, and after saying thank you to her for the toasted tuna sandwich, I  trotted down the stairs to visit my new favorite possession. My computer.

It was a beautiful gadget that my father had given me as a graduation present. I was exploring all of the neat tricks it had up its sleeve, and all the while I was thinking of how much I didn’t want to use it for school. Instead of checking my email for more tuition information, I decided to procrastinate, and check out some Youtube videos. For about a half an hour I watched past performances of my favorite artists when I happened to come across Carrie Underwood.She was singing, “Alone,” by Heart, and I was impressed. Her small town personality gave off a sense of insecurity, and yet her voice gave off a sense of confidence.

Suddenly curious, I opened the American Idol website to check out when auditions were for the next season. To my surprise they were holding auditions in less than a month. Now, more curious than ever, I looked at all the cities they were auditioning in. It just so happened that they were holding auditions in Dallas, TX, where my sister lives. The excitement was building inside of me, and I knew instantly what I wanted to audition. Little did I know that this audition would not only change my life, but myself, and my future as well.

I, as a songwriter, feel challenged by my own brain when it comes to writing a song. I’ll be inspired by something and get stuck right in the middle of writing. For hours and hours I sit, unaware of how to continue. Then I’ll get frustrated and throw it away. Once thrown away, I’ll feel guilty and compelled to finish the song, or at least keep what I have for another day. It’s this very schedule that songwriters go through in any other part of life. For example, if I can’t find a good outfit to wear, I’ll  keep some clothes on the floor in case I’m inspired to piece something new together. That’s why my room is so messy, I don’t want to disrupt the schedule!

It’s an early morning, and I feel quite tall. Maybe it’s because the new boots I’m wearing have a nice heel on them, or maybe its just because I’m so proud of my father. He’s just received word that his job has promoted him to regional manager, and I’ve woken up to see him off to his first day. We exchange hugs on the front porch of our little farm as the Jeep warms up in the garage. I can tell he’s nervous, so I wish him good luck and tell him I love him as he takes off down the highway. For a second I wonder why the road is so busy this morning, but quickly shrug off the question as I realize no one is home to answer it.

Suddenly I see Jackal, our lab, running after a stray cat that’s headed straight for the busy highway. I have no time to think as I take off after him. The thought of losing Jackal put an extra boost in my step and before I know it, I’m running in front of him. Instead of turning around and potentially losing my grip on Jackal’s fur, I keep running until I catch the stray cat by its collar. As I’m breathing heavily from the quick sprint to save Jackal’s life, I try to set down the stray when I realize that the cat wasn’t in fact a stray at all. She belonged to our neighbors, and I’m relieved Jackal didn’t harm her. Jackal begins to bark, and the second I turn around to pet him I see two bright lights in front of me. It’s a shame I didn’t stop running before reaching the middle of the highway.

First, I must tell you that writing this blog is very difficult for me, because I seldom like to talk about myself for too long; however, I feel it is necessary to write this blog so my brain does not explode due to a lack of ventilation. Second, I am a non-traditional writer. You may find some of my future blogs to either be very disorganized or off subject, but that is how my mind works.  And finally, before I begin spilling to you all of the thoughts that are scrambled in my mind, you must know that many of my thoughts can change your life if you let them.